


The Deadliest of Quick Time Events

by DroppedAllTheseOreos



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Elephants, Fluff, Gen, Giraffes, Kaito Gaim is here for funsies, M/M, Minimal editing, Pigs, Zoo, vultures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29082243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DroppedAllTheseOreos/pseuds/DroppedAllTheseOreos
Summary: In an attempt to show the Ministry that bugsters can coexist between humans, Poppy plans out a schedule of things they and the members of CR can do together. One of these happens to be a zoo trip, and it becomes an opportunity for Kiriya and Graphite to learn a little more about each other and the worlds they came from.
Relationships: Graphite/Kujou Kiriya
Comments: 5
Kudos: 5





	The Deadliest of Quick Time Events

**Author's Note:**

> This started with me seeing pics of a bearded vulture with their crest flared and going "That's Graphite."  
> Then I started playing Monster Hunter World, and the pet pig, Poogie, kept annihilating my legs with headbutts until I got good at the quick time event to pet them.  
> Also the working title for this was "Give me Your Phone" XD
> 
> And now here we are. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> (also i'm surprised there's tags for these animals???)

Of all the things to make Graphite, Drago Knight Hunter Z's final boss, apex predator, publicly known (and reformed) murderer, recoil in fear, Kiriya would've never guessed it would be a piglet. They'd been at the petting zoo for a while, and Graphite seemed to have no problems just existing alongside the other animals even if he didn't go in the pens. But Kiriya was certain he saw true fear in his eyes when he broke them off from the group to visit the pigs.

The dragon adamantly stayed outside, no matter how much Kiriya coaxed him, both in and out of the enclosure. So he just sat down near the first pig that came up to him and let them climb onto his lap for scritches. And that's how they were for the last ten minutes or so, Kiriya, having a great time, but taking glances up at Graphite to still see that nervous grimace on his face as he leaned on the fence and watched.

A smirk slowly pulled at Kiriya's lips as a terrible idea formed in his head. Technically, they weren't supposed to pick up the animals besides the rabbits a few pens over, but that didn't stop Kiriya from hefting the adorable little piggy and bringing them close to the edge of the pen to shove at Graphite. He suppressed a flinch then backed up a few steps with a wary expression.

"Aw, c'mon, seriously?" Kiriya laughed, "Don't worry, they're completely harmless!"

Graphite's jaw shifted as he glared Kiriya down, eyes flickering to the pig every once in a while, like he was making sure it wouldn't jump out of Kiriya's arms and attack. Well, Graphite had been tense all day. Being from a game where one of the main objectives was capturing your friends could easily be a reason he was so on edge. But he'd never been like this at the other exhibits, and a pathological fear of pigs was the only reason Kiriya could think of so far.

Before Kiriya could pry more, a zookeeper came up to him and gently demanded that he put the pig down and exit the pen immediately. He tried his best to hide his exasperation and put the pig down very slowly and gently. While Kiriya was being escorted out, Graphite had left his spot in front of the pig enclosure to stand by the alpacas instead, watching Poppy and Nico giggle as they pet one together. Well, at least most of the bugsters on this trip were having a good time. Kiriya noted Parad getting swarmed by rabbits in the other pen, with Taiga actually smiling for once and holding back laughter as he watched.

As he looked around for the last bugster-human duo that was supposed to be on this trip, Kiriya noticed Kuroto looking bored as he waited by the goats within Poppy's direct line of sight. Huh, so Emu... must've run off for some alone time with the banana guy. Kiriya wouldn't blame Kumon for getting pissed. Being around Kuroto long enough could lead anyone to run off, unless it was one of those rare times he wanted to be sincere. Emu was probably nursing a headache from being between them, and Kiriya felt a little bad. At least they had the Director as back up. The goats kept pushing Kagami around as he tried to pet them, and Kuroto would glance back every once in a while with an amused smirk. In general, Kuroto seemed to get enough entertainment from making Kagami uncomfortable to keep the "God" in place and behaving.

Poppy had planned the whole thing. Since CR and the Ministry were getting ready to integrate bugsters into society, especially with the revival of those killed by the virus going smoothly, the Ministry wanted solid evidence that coexisting was possible. Kiriya had only heard through Haima, but apparently, Asuna confidently strode into the meeting and laid out a whole itinerary of things for CR to do that would prove they could provide solid data. Obviously, she'd been persuasive enough, and where everyone's schedule had been filled with research and meetings at Genm or CR, museum tours, amusement park visits, and this zoo trip took their place.

Kiriya certainly wasn't complaining since he'd been having fun, but... He would definitely feel more useful if he were still working on his vaccine research. Being around all these people kept reminding him that they could all be at risk if any virus related equipment fell into the wrong hands like that Maxima guy.

Hopefully, the Ministry approved this soon. But in the meantime, he had a boyfriend to take somewhere more comfortable.

"Hey, wanna find something else to check out?" Kiriya said.

Graphite quietly nodded, then jerked his chin forward, letting Kiriya know to take the lead. He grinned and started walking towards the exit.

Once they stepped out of the gate, Kiriya crouched down to start washing his hands at one of the kid-sized sinks. There were others for adults, but this one was closer, so why not? As he started rinsing them, Graphite crouched down next to him, and he offered him an encouraging little grin.

"So... wanna tell me about your fear of pigs?"

Graphite clicked his tongue and looked away. "Not really, but I feel like you'll pester me about it until you get it out of me."

Kiriya shook his hands off and shuffled over to stick them under the dryer. "Oh, you're too cruel, I can't believe you'd imply that I'm pushy and don't allow you privacy."

Rolling his eyes, Graphite stood and started walking away. Kiriya quickly hopped up to run after him, "Oh c'mon, don't run away!"

"I'm not running," he growled but slowed down to let Kiriya catch up. After wandering around in silence for a while, Kiriya started taking the map out of his back pocket, give them a talking point. But Graphite pulled them aside with a huff.

"Give me your phone," he said, still not meeting Kiriya's eyes but holding a hand out for it.

Kiriya raised an eyebrow but fished it out of his pocket. Graphite took it and started typing away. After a bit, he handed the phone back to Kiriya.

"That's Poogie," he said as Kiriya came face to face with a model of a pig about the size of a Shiba in fuzzy, striped pajamas.

"Aww, so what, is this the fiercest, most powerful monster in the game?"

Graphite pouted, "Might as well be."

Kiriya's eyebrows raised surprisedly, and Graphite finally looked up at him with a mix of embarrassment and anger.

"You can pet them in game, but if you fail the quick time event the pig knocks you over and runs away... And because I'm an enemy character if I try to go anywhere near the Hunter's Guild they just attack me on sight and I can't do anything about it."

Kiriya reached out to pat him on the shoulder when something suddenly clicked, "Wait, so you _wanna_ pet them, though?"

"...They're cute." The upset look from earlier turned into even more of a pout, and Kiriya had to laugh a little.

"Shut up." Graphite took his hand and started pulling him along so they could keep wandering aimlessly.

"I didn't even say anything!" Kiriya grinned.

"I know you, Kujo Kiriya," Graphite didn't even bother to glare back at him, but it was all too easy to hear the annoyance in his tone, "You're going to jokingly gush about how that's cute and attempt to persuade me into trying again. I don't need your reassurance or pity."

"Ah, c'mon 'Phite, these pigs won't be the same. At least, I don't think they will."

"They know I'm a predator." He grumbled in response. "Did you see how the other animals were looking at me?"

Well, they did seem a little skittish for animals that should be used to people coming and petting them. But still, he shouldn't let that stop him if he really wanted to pet a pig.

"Okay, okay. I won't talk about it more." Kiriya snorted, using his free hand to pull out the zoo guide and tap it to Graphite's shoulder. "Here, take a look and let's see if there's anything you wanna check out."

Graphite slowed down, and they stepped to the side of the path again. Kiriya unfolded it, offering the map to him, and Graphite took hold of the other side of it. He slowly started scanning the map until it suddenly crumpled under his thumb as his grip tightened. He tugged it closer to his face, and Kiriya let go to let him take it in both hands. Whatever he saw, he looked excited.

Then, Graphite flicked his wrist to get the map to stay up on its own and pointed to an exhibit with his free hand.

"Here."

Kiriya tilted his head towards Graphite so he could see past his hand to the word under his claw.

**Giraffe**

"Okay—" Kiriya's amused laughter got cut off by Graphite suddenly snapping the map closed and grabbing him by the wrist, running them full speed towards the giraffe enclosure.

A few attendants called out at them for running, but Graphite paid them no mind. He pressed onward until he stopped a few meters from the giraffes. Even though they were right in front of him, Graphite kept looking around like he wasn't sure where they were.

"Hey 'Phite? You okay? The giraffes are right there." Kiriya gestured over to the enclosure, but Graphite just looked at him like he was from an alternate dimension.

Well... he technically was. Given how many miscommunications they'd had over what animals were called in the past, maybe giraffes were something different entirely in Drago Knight Hunter.

Graphite looked like he was about to argue, then sighed frustratedly and held his hand out. "Gimme your phone."

Kiriya quickly handed it over and took him by the elbow to lead them over to the enclosure railing. A few kids started running down the path, so he wanted them out of the way while Graphite slowly typed out his search and started scrolling to find a good picture. Kiriya leaned against the railing, just watching Graphite with a soft smile. The dragon's face always scrunched up cutely when he was determined in low stakes situations like this.

Finally, the dragon seemed to find what he was looking for and suddenly shoved the phone in Kiriya's face.

"I thought they were this." Graphite said a bit sheepishly.

Kiriya tilted his head slightly, confused at the pictures of white and blue lion-faced horses with long, sharp horns from their foreheads. Cirrus cloud-like tufts of fur grew from their legs and their chest towards their back in a sort of lion's mane shape. Kinda looked like those old paintings of... He scrolled up to see what Graphite searched, and suddenly it clicked.

"Ah, 'cuz they're Kirin, and we use the same word for them," he gestured towards the giraffes.

Graphite nodded quietly, and Kiriya pocketed his phone again.

"Sorry they disappointed you like that."

Graphite shrugged a shoulder, then turned to watch the giraffes, trying his best to seem cool after making that mistake. Kiriya pressed his lips together in thought, wondering how to lighten the mood. Yes, it was a silly mistake, but there was no reason to feel so disappointed over it. As they watched the giraffes roam around the enclosure, Kiriya shuffled over to let their arms touch. Graphite gave him a familiar, half-hearted bump back. He was really down, then. It took a few more moments, but Kiriya realized that Graphite's disappointment must stem from these "kirin" not being the ones he expected.

Graphite had to fight to admit it, but eventually, he told Kiriya about how lonely he could get. Sure, he had the other bugsters, but he was the only one from his game. The high of finally getting to see another dragon followed by the crash of being mistaken had to be devastating.

Kiriya bit the inside of his cheek. There had to be some way of cheering him up... He brought out his phone again and pulled up a video, hoping it'd be right up Graphite's alley while trying to hold back his laughter.

"Hey. This is how they fight."

Graphite blinked interestedly as he turned his attention to the video. His mouth immediately dropped open in surprise at the two animals flailing their necks around like glow sticks at a rave, and his hand came up to stifle a laugh. As the video ended, Graphite raised his other hand, silently asking for the phone again with a few curls of his fingers. Kiriya handed it to him easily, happy to see him smiling again.

"We have this in game too," Graphite said quietly, voice strained as he held back laughter, and Kiriya snorted and bumped into the railing at the video he'd pulled up.

It was of a player character, decked out in intimidating armor, full of spikes and jagged plating. But instead of the usual intimidating-looking helm that made them look like dragons, a long neck sprouted from their armor, looking more like a sock puppet than anything else. At the top of the neck was an ovular, soft head in the shape of a goofy blue and grey dragon, with huge button eyes and a stitched mouth. Feathers or some similar appendages swept back from the head in little fan shapes instead of horns, and the whole thing wiggled back and forth like jello. As the player ran around, the head trailed behind them goofily, and Kiriya let out a full-on laugh at that, collapsing against the railing.

"Are those really your in-universe equivalents to giraffes?"

Graphite shrugged, "They're more like... worms I guess? They live in the ground."

He turned the phone back to himself and after a few searches, pulled up a picture of a bunch of little blue dragon worms in the ground in front of a player character.

"Cute. Yeah, I guess worms would be the most accurate. Or maybe garden eels? I gotta take you to an aquarium some time, there's little guys like this in there, I think you'd love 'em."

Graphite's body shook slightly with silent laughter, and Kiriya grinned up at him. "Well, looks like you're feeling a bit better. Is there anything else you wanna check out?"

Graphite smiled back at him and looked like he was about to say something, but his attention drifted past Kiriya now that the space behind him was more visible. He seemed interested in whatever was happening back there, but didn't want to get his hopes up too much this time. After grabbing Kiriya's hand again, he gently tugged him along to approach a different enclosure at a brisk pace. At least they weren't running this time.

Kiriya stifled a little chuckle to himself. Between sprinting around the park and picking up animals, they were bound to get kicked out at some point, and there was no way _that_ would look good on Poppy's report for the Ministry later. At least she could spin it that the two of them were being dumbasses, nothing to do with attacking humans.

They started to slow down, and Graphite shifted his grip on their hands so he could keep Kiriya behind him. Kiriya had to hold back his teasing and cooing. Graphite being protective, making sure he went first just in case anything came out and attacked them, was still really cute.

* * *

They went from exhibit to exhibit, trying to find something that Graphite didn't want to fight or wouldn't freak him out. They started the quest off with a strange quiet moment near the elephant enclosure where Graphite kept looking around nervously. But he also made little cooing noises at them when he was actually looking. Eventually, they figured out that elephants were also very different in the world of Drago Knight. Graphite thought they were just babies and was worried about a parent returning to protect them. Turns out, the ones in his world were giant woolly mammoths, about twice the size of these elephants, with huge bone helms growing from their head. They had to play the "give me your phone" game again to finally figure out the differences.

After a few more failed tries with the other animals, Kiriya thought he finally found something in the bird walk. Graphite was a little wary of the sets of doors made to keep any of the birds from escaping, but once they got through, he looked overwhelmed, but in a good way.

Kiriya would be forever thankful to Poppy for taking him along on her protoGashat world tour because he'd never have seen Graphite's home tree if she hadn't. It might not have been the one Graphite remembered, since it was just the test version of the game, but the bird walk was probably the closest thing Graphite would get to returning to the expansive, sprawling forest he used to live in. At least for now. Kiriya was working on getting the right copy of Drago Knight and a GenmCube to start so Graphite could go back whenever he wanted, as an anniversary present.

They went through the aviary slowly, letting Graphite soak in the somewhat familiar environment and check out every possible bird inside. But they found something interesting when Kiriya tugged them along a side path that looked like a dead end. It led up to some stairs, and at the top of the climb was a huge cage, filled with branches and greenery, but at the very back was a giant, black and red bird. Kiriya's jaw almost dropped as they flared their crest. They sort of looked like Graphite's kaijin form.

The dragon seemed to pick up on it, too, and after a quick look around to make sure they were alone and there weren't any security cameras, he transformed. The bird flapped their wings surprisedly but turned the motion into a little flutter hop to get closer and lean in, tilting their head back and forth to observe him.

Graphite looked like he wanted to reach out and give them pets, and they were still alone here, so Kiriya turned around to stand watch, giving Graphite a little 'go ahead' wink. Between sweeps of the area, Kiriya watched how things played out from the corner of his eye.

Graphite gently stuck his hand through the cage, letting his arm clip so he could reach all the way in. The vulture shuffled away a bit, seemingly surprised and maybe a little frightened by the intrusion, so Graphite held still, letting them get used to his presence. After some staring and jerky head tilts, the bird seemed to get the picture and reached down, taking one of his claws in their beak. They chewed on the finger lightly, twisting their head back and forth to get better angles to nibble on him while avoiding his talon.

The dragon seemed enchanted by the chewing, even if it looked painful. Kiriya tried his best not to grimace as he watched Graphite's hand actually twitch from a surprisingly enthusiastic bite. Graphite managed to pull his hand away after that one, turning it over to let the bird re-adjust. When they seemed comfortable, he slowly raised his hand, and they nuzzled against him. Soon enough, they let him stroke their head, the vulture leaning into the petting.

Sadly, the moment had to be cut short. A family was making their way up the stairs towards their section of the aviary. Kiriya nudged Graphite, and he immediately changed back to his human form, then slowly took his hand out of the cage to not startle the bird.

Kiriya wasn't sure how, but the vulture actually looked disappointed that they weren't getting pet anymore. After giving Graphite some big-eyed, pleading looks and head tilts, the bird seemed to recognize they weren't going to get any more attention for the day and took off, fluttering towards their old perch on the branches in the back of the cage. Graphite gave them a small wave, then took Kiriya's hand, giving it a small tug to let him know they should head out. They went back down the steps together quickly, giving the family their space to enjoy the aviary.

As they continued the walk, Graphite squeezed Kiriya's hand to get his attention.

"I think I wanna try with the pigs again." Kiriya could see him swallow roughly but squeezed back reassuringly.

"Got a little confidence boost from that?"

"Sure, whatever you wanna call it." Graphite looked away to hide his face, and Kiriya was certain there was a blush.

"Then let's go." He sped up for a few steps to get ahead of Graphite and make sure he could see his grin.

* * *

They took their time with finishing up exploring the aviary, just letting Graphite get his fill of the place since Kiriya wasn't sure when they'd be able to come back. But once he was feeling confident, they headed back towards the petting zoo. Graphite walked slower the closer they got until Kiriya took the lead, dragging him forward to pick up the pace for once.

After washing their hands at the front, they went straight for the pigs. Kiriya was surprised that Graphite didn't hesitate when he opened the gate for them. The dragon just strode right in, but once he was inside, he stopped, taking a few deep breaths to steel himself.

Graphite watched the pigs intently, one foot sliding back and out a bit, and Kiriya recognized it as a defensive stance. He tried his best to hold back a chuckle. Not surprising that Graphite was preparing for an attack, but still, what a contrast to the confident guy he was with in the aviary a few minutes ago.

Kiriya nudged him forward gently, and Graphite jolted before cautiously stumbling forward so Kiriya could come through. As much as he wanted to pull the dragon along and encourage him to pet one, this was something Graphite needed to do on his own terms. Also, the worker from earlier was giving him a Look. So instead, he closed the second gate behind Graphite and backed away. He took up the spot on the fence that Graphite was watching from before and choked back a laugh at the dragon's betrayed look.

Graphite looked like he was about to turn tail and run then kick Kiriya's ass, but a little piglet came up and started snuffling at his calf. Even from this distance, Kiriya could see the way every part of his body tensed. He took a step forward, thinking he might need to rescue Graphite, but the dragon slowly moved away from the gate, just to get out of the way, and the little pig followed along.

Obviously surprised, Graphite cautiously knelt down to be level with the pig. They snuffled at his leg again, coming around to his front, and his eyes widened. He reached out a slightly trembling hand, the one without the gauntlet, maybe to be less intimidating, and the pig continued to stare up at him with their adorable, beady eyes.

Kiriya leaned in interestedly, watching the intense staredown between his boyfriend and a little brown and pink piglet. Finally, Graphite's hand came into contact with their head, petting gently, but they shook him off, making him flinch. Kiriya tensed up, too, worried that the pig would actually attack him out of some nonsense about the way Kuroto coded Graphite applying to real life. The piglet's nostrils flared, letting out a tiny huff. They did some pacing and stomping their hooves in place, letting out a few squeals every once in a while. But they eventually wore themself out and stood in front of Graphite again, chin raised as if to look at him defiantly.

Graphite cocked his head curiously, eyes narrowing like they were some puzzle to figure out. Kiriya was almost about to go in there and tell him not to touch the pig anymore. Maybe get him to move onto another one, but instead, Graphite went back in, taking the pig's glare at him as more of a hint than a challenge.

And he turned out to be right. When he started giving the pig scritches under their chin, they let out a happy sounding squeal, and Kiriya felt his heart swell watching the way Graphite gasped excitedly with his whole body; shoulders raising with the intake of breath, his free hand shooting forward to double up on the petting, the overwhelmed look on his face, and how his excitement practically radiated off him.

Kiriya had no idea how long they were there, but it seemed all too soon that Poppy came up and gently tapped him on the shoulder to tell him they were getting ready to head out. Kiriya gave her a quick thumbs up so she could go over to the others and gather them up, too. After taking another moment to admire Graphite with all the pigs he amassed, he made his way over to that side of the fence. He poked Graphite's head through the rails, and the dragon looked up at him.

"Time to go," He jerked his head over towards the exit where Poppy and the others were waiting.

Graphite didn't turn to look at the rest of them, just sighed and looked down at the tiny army of pigs surrounding him, squealing for attention. He gave the one that came up to him first a few final pats, then gently and slowly untangled himself from all of them.

Kiriya couldn't remember a time where he'd ever seen Graphite that disappointed and took his hand to cheer him up just a little as they headed out with the others.

"We'll come back." He said as he squeezed Graphite's hand.

"What, do I look upset?" the dragon huffed.

"Oh, what? _No_ I didn't mean that _at all."_ Kiriya waved a hand as if to brush the idea away, "I wanna come back for _me._ You'll just have to get dragged along. Boyfriend responsibilities, y'know?"

Graphite scoffed but squeezed his hand back. A silent thank you, and Kiriya was already making plans on when to make their return trip.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks much for reading!
> 
> I have a [writing Tumblr ](https://droppedalltheseoreos.tumblr.com/) if you'd like to drop by and say hi or something!


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